Subject: Top 10 ways you tell that you are a teacher?
10. In public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at
random children to correct their behavior.
9 . You have no life between August and June.
8 . You have gotten really good at the 32 Times Tables.
7 . You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking
outside.
6 . You try to order lipstick by Crayon color name.
5 . You think caffeine should be available in intravenous
form.
4 . It occurs to you that marking all A's on report cards
would make your life SO much simpler.
3 . Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report
card time.
2 . You can "hold it" for seven hours!
1. Mr. Rambunctious just told his mom that you are the best
thing that happened to him all year.
Subject: Have you ever wondered?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever
comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken
there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's
butt."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast
to a horrible black crisp which no decent human being would
eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song
about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out
of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand on two legs while Pluto remains on
all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme
stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made
from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come
from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it
arrive faster?
