|
|
|
If you are looking for some great reading, Depot Dan recommends
these books
Anything by Max Lucado
Sophy Burnham Angel Letters
The Left Behind Series
Christian Music Depot Dan listens to
Third Day
Mercy Me
Jars of Clay
Caedmon's Call
Cece Winans
Mark Schultz
Jaci Velasquez
Bob Carlisle
Jump 5
Jennifer Knapp
Steven Curtis Chapman
Nicole C. Mollen
Rachael Lampa
|
|
|
Christian HUMOR
Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid;
from now on you will be catching men."
We are all called to be fisher of men. |
Catholic School Test
Pay special attention to the wording and spelling of these
test questions. It comes from a Catholic Elementary school
test. Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments.
The following answers where written about the Bible by children.
They have not been retouched nor corrected. (Incorrect spelling
has been left in).
-
In the first book of the bible, Guinessis.
God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath
off.
-
Adam and Eve were created from an Apple
tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an
ark and the animals came on in pears.
-
Lots wife was a pillar of salt during
the day, but a ball of fire
during the night.
-
The Jews were a proud people and throughout
history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
-
Sampson was a strongman who let himself
be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
-
Samson slayed the Philistines with the
axe of the Apostles.
-
Moses led the Jews to the Red sea where
they made unleavened bread which is bread without any
ingredients.
-
The Egyptians were all drowned in the
dessert, Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to
get the ten ammendments.
-
The first commandment was when Eve told
Adam to eat the apple.
-
The seventh Commandment is thou shalt
not admit adultery.
-
Moses died before he ever reached Canada
. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
-
The greates miricle in the bible is when
Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him
-
David was a Hebrew king who was skilled
at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race
of people who lived in bibical times.
-
Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300
wives and 700 porcupines.
-
When Mary heard she was the mother of
Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
-
When the three wise guys from the east
side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
-
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate
contraption.
-
St. John the blacksmith dumped water
on his head.
-
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which
says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also
explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.
-
It was a miricle when Jesus rose from
the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
-
The people who followed the lord were
called the 12 decibels.
-
The epistels were the wives of the apostals.
-
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew
who was also a taximan.
-
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he
preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.
-
Christians have only one spouse. This
is called monotony.
| Above is an item that
is circulated in cyberspace. The author of which is
unknown. If this is a copyrighted item, please advise
me. I will take it down right away. |
|
|
|